Friends

I admit it. I am awful at being a friend. I think I have a goodly number of friends, and I always want more, but I am not good at it.

I don't call often, or email, or follow up when people contact me. I try my best to remember birthdays and important milestones of those around me, but I usually fail at this as well.

I don't have any really good excuses. Or maybe all I have are excuses, it's just that they are lame. "I don't have time... "(that one is getting REALLY old). "I don't want to bother them." " I don't know what to say after so long..." "Maybe they have forgotten all about me..."

This blog has been a great way to connect with people I don't normally connect with. I have it on good authority that my Aunt Oris in Fallbrook reads my blog. I haven't seen her since I was a little girl. How cool that she can peek into her great-niece's life! My niece in Alaska checks in here occasionally. Friends from my old church check here to see what's going on. My best friend from elementary school contacted me because of this blog. She lives in Texas (I think) and we are in the process of catching up.

Tonight however, the news generated was not so good. My best friend from high school contacted me after reading my blog, with some sad news. He and his wife are splitting up. I am shocked and saddened beyond words. It's been a very long time since we've been in contact, but you just assume people stay the way you last saw them. You know, they freeze until you see them again. Apparently, life went on for them, and it didn't go so well. I don't know any details, but I hope to see him soon.

What an awful friend I am!

I just figured he forgot all about me and I didn't want to bother him. Maybe he would have liked to talk. Maybe I could have been a good listener. Maybe I could have been there for him in his time of need. Maybe I've been going about my life and not taking even a few moments to check in with those I call my friends.

Maybe that will be my New Year's Resolution. Maybe I'll resolve to be a better friend. Scratch that, I'll resolve to be a REAL friend.